Cheney: Ok, lets get this teleconference started gentlemen.
Condi: Uhh...
Rove: Shut up Condi.
Cheney: George, are you here?
W: Coming Uncle Cheney. Needed a bathroom break....just tucking in the shirttails...
Condi: Sir, you didn't say a word.
W: It's ok, Condi. Laura's got me hooked up in suspenders today.
Cheney: Can we get started.
W: Sure, Uncle Cheney
Rove: I'm ready...just unfolding this map.
Cheney: Thanks, Karl. Let's get started. I think you did brilliantly last night George. You showed the country how we are making lemonade out of lemons.
W: Lemonade?
Cheney: We are going to make New Orleans and Boloxi bigger and better and whiter.
W: Lemonade. Can we have oatmeal cookies with our lemonade Uncle Cheney?
Cheney: We just need to get the funding in place and Tom and Bill have that sewn up.
W: Iced oatmeal cookies with raisins.
Cheney: What are you talking about, George.
W: Iced oatmeal cookies with raisins with our lemonade.
Rove: No oatmeal, George. The Quakers are giving us trouble over the War. No Quakers in Iraq. No oatmeal cookies in the White House.
Condi: Can we get back to the subject...
Rove: Shut up Condi.
Cheney: She's right. Let's proceed. Karl, you have the map out?
Rove: Yup, all unfolded, borders drawn and color coded.
Cheney: Good, put it on the video phone. Great. That looks good. New Orleans will be rebuilt by a consortium of Halliburton, Microsoft, Bechtel and Wal-mart. But, Disney gets the French Quarter and they are contracting out the food service to McDonalds. Have to replace all those hoidy toidy French beignets with good old American Egg McMuffins.
Condi: I love bignets.
Rove: Shut up Condi. Dick, what about security. Blackwater's already got that under contracts with Halliburton and they've contracted out weapons to N. Korea, so we are all set.
Cheney: China wants a piece of this too. Maybe a few blocks for knock off designer purses and shoes. Condi, get on that right away.
Condi: Sir, isn't that a bit sexist?
Rove: Shut up, Condi.
Cheney: There will be knock off software too, Condi. Just keep China away from Gates.
Condi: OK, Sir.
Rove: Let's get to Boloxi. That set up is really neat.
Cheney: Tell us, Karl.
Rove: Harrah's is merging with CACI, MGM and Smith and Wesson. It will be unbelievable and easy with Tom and Jack at the helm.
Condi: I thought Jack Abramoff was indicted, Sirs.
Rove: He'll be back in time for the first spin of the roulette wheel. We're not dealing with Martha Stewart here.
Ring Ring
(everyone checks their cells)
W: It's me. Hello. Oh, hi dad. Yes, Yes. I'm here with Uncle Cheney and ^%&* and that woman, (whisper)
the brown one.... Ok, Ok. Dad wants me to put him on speaker.
Cheney: Ok, Hello Mr. President.
HW: Hi all. You too, Condi. I'm really calling for mother. She wants Gretna for her charity society. She saw them on CNN and they are her kind of folks.
Cheney: They have to be a major corporation with a PAC that forces its employees to contribute to the Party, Mr. President.
HW: Barbara's incorporating. The twins are the officers. We're all set.
Cheney: Well, ok sir. But the girls will have to get their sorority sisters to become at least Pioneers.
HW: Done.
Rove: Great. What's the first lady er former first lady going to call it?
HW: Not sure yet, Karl. Temporarily, just The Club.
W: Sounds good dad!
Cheney: Our regards to the queen mum. Bye Mr. President.
WH: Bye.
Cheney: So, we're all set then. The rebuilding will begin and our ownership society has weathered the storm.
W: There was a storm?
Condi: Katrina, sir.
W: She colored too?
Cheney: Let's wrap up. New Orleans and Boloxi will be rebuilt and then become wholly owned subsidiaries. Then, we work on the suburbs, but that will be easy. Lots of smaller donors who want in.
W: and mom gets Gretna.
Cheney: Sure George. Bet the place will be full of chintz in no time.
Rove: I heard that California is expecting an earth quake soon. The big one.
Cheney: One thing at a time, Karl.